cosleeping matters to us

Six months has lapsed since the last post. Mothers out there know and understand I am sure. When you have a little one, time seems to get away from you and pass much faster than you would ever imagine. Each day seems to blend into the next lately and it is all happening so fast. So here we are. Just a few weeks after H’s first birthday! I can’t believe it. He has grown and learned so much in the last year. He crawled at six months, walked at nine, and now, of course, is the unstoppable runner. He chatters constantly in his own little language, puts his arms up in the air when we say touchdown, and is still curious about EVERYTHING! The difference being that he now has the means to get to and explore stuff.

We are still cosleeping and last night the sweetest thing passed. H was laying between us, getting settle in to sleep, when he reached up and touched J-D’s beard. He has grown it out a bit and I think H was noticing for the first time. He laid there looking at his dad and rubbing his beard. I cried of course. It was so sweet to see the two of them bonding while laying next to each other. It is moments like these that make cosleeping so worth the extra effort. Believe me, there are nights I would LOVE for H to sleep in his own bed or even his own room. I would love the extra space during the night and some cuddle time with my husband before we go to sleep. These things will come in due time though. For now, H is our priority and we know that cosleeping is what is best for him. He feels most comfortable and safe sleeping between us. He is happy and that is what matters to us. So, for now, the adventure continues. Crammed quarters at night with the occasional foot in my face. I love it though and I know they do too.

Mom vs Mom

While I was pregnant, quite a few mothers and quite a few people who aren’t parents at all decided it was necessary to voice their opinions on my plans to have a natural childbirth. To my surprise, most people were not supportive of my decision. Outside of J-D and myself, our families, and a very few friends, everyone else thought I was insane. People refused to look at it from my point of view. They didn’t understand why I would willingly accept and look forward to the pain that is childbirth. I didn’t understand why it mattered so much to anyone how I decided to have my child. I would be the one enduring the pain not them. They continued to harrass me about it though. Every chance someone saw to bring it up and criticize me they did. I found my support in the books I read, the classes we took, my midwife, and of course J-D. We took the Bradley Birth Method classes and loved them but had to drive 45 minutes just to get to them. Natural childbirth isn’t a very popular idea in Alabama apparently.

Since those early days of being attacked about that particular choice, I have been lucky enough to avoid much criticism by other mothers. We go about our way of raising our son without hearing that we’re doing something the wrong way. A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that I avoid the people who tend to push their opinions on others. I have very strong feelings about how we parent and I believe we’re doing a great job but I choose not to push my opinion on others. If a friend asks for advice about something I will gladly offer any knowledge I have. I will not go beyond that. I know how it feels to be looked down on for your decisions.

This morning I logged onto the momslikeme website to see if anyone had joined the group I started for playdates in our area. No one had and I’m beginning to think it might be harder than I originally thought to start a moms group. While looking around the site at the different discussions that were getting the most hits, I came across a particular conversation that both shocked and upset me. A mother asked for some advice on getting her baby to sleep and wow did people go nuts about this question. There were a ton of comments offering advice on how those parents get their children to sleep and even more attacking one another for their different approaches. The comments were hate filled and mean. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I by no means agreed with the majority of the advice the moms were giving but no part of me thought to let them know that. It is their choice on how they get their child to sleep and every baby is different. I had no idea that the mom on mom crime was so mean or even so popular. I really hope that it changes and moms realize that it is so much easier and more healthy to support one another or just let one another be.

New Pictures

I just uploaded some great new pictures to the computer and would love to share them! Here are a few!

Everyone cross your fingers

and pray that things fall into place. I’m really hoping to go back to school this fall for my master’s degree. I really want this to happen. I miss school and I’m ready to get this next degree in the works. Sadly, it isn’t as easy as I wish it was to jump back into the classroom. I need a few things to work out the right way. So, please send good wishes this direction. I should know something in a little more than a week. Maybe less. I’ll keep you updated. I really hope it works out. I really hope that I can handle being a mom and going to school. I guess I’m hoping for a lot of things. I guess while I’m at it I’ll go ahead and hope the oil will stop leaking into the Gulf and my son will let me sleep in. Ahhhh one can always hope.

Rough Day

Some days my patience is just worn thin. Yesterday was one of those days. We started off to a seemingly good day but it all changed pretty quickly. Holden would not take a nap therefore he cried. And cried. And cried. I wanted to pull my hair out. I had a million things I wanted to get done and all of it was going undone plus there was a huge LACK of caffeine in our house. The crying starts to get to me when I can’t figure out what’s wrong and he just won’t stop. I pulled out all the stops (wow, have I learned a lot in these few shorts months) but nothing seemed to help and then all of a sudden without warning he stopped crying and fell asleep. Relief flooded through me and I quickly followed his lead and took a much needed nap as well.

I felt a million times better when he woke me up but it didn’t last long. He continued to be fussy throughout the day although he ate normally and napped again later in the day. By dinner time, I was exhausted and thought I had the perfect plan lined up. I was going to feed the baby a jar of baby food, as well as, his night time bottle and get him to bed early. Of course that plan didn’t work. He surprised me by eating all of the baby food, finishing off his bottle, and then an hour later he wanted to breastfeed! I was amazed and probably always will be at how much he can eat.

A few hours after I fell asleep the crying started again. I couldn’t believe my ears. Surely my child who had eaten enough dinner for two babies was not awake crying and hungry again?! J-D knew exactly what to do and I couldn’t be more thankful that he did. I sat in the bed and cried. I was literally so exhausted and frustrated that I cried. I did end up feeding the baby again…twice…but we all finally got some sleep. I feel so much better today. I don’t know why yesterday was so hard but I’m really not hoping for that again any time soon.

God is definitely teaching me patience through parenting but He is also teaching me something else…team work. I’m so grateful for my partner and our families. I have a hard time relying on other people or asking for help but parenting requires exactly those things. I don’t know if I could do it alone and I’m so glad I don’t have to find out.

Pleasures

I have been thinking about pleasures in life. Simple, guilty, odd…mine are mostly odd I’m sure. I’ve been thinking about this all day. I really love using a Q-tip after a shower and that’s what started me on this thought process. Anyway, tonight I had an entire box of mac and cheese for dinner and nothing else and then I realized that it was another pleasure. A guilty pleasure. No one knows about the macaroni thing by the way. I only do that when I’m home alone. Well, not every time I’m alone but every now and then.

My son has definitely added some new pleasures to my life. I love watching him discover new things, make facial expressions, or reach another baby milestone. Last Tuesday he started pushing up to his hands and knees and rocking. It is so funny to watch and of course I teared up a few times watching him. It really is happening so fast. I’ve heard parents say that a million times but you don’t understand until you’re a parent and suddenly your child is quickly moving through the baby milestones. I’m trying to soak up every minute of it and hold him as much as possible. All too soon he’ll be wiggling out of my arms and running to play with friends.

The 5th of July!

That sounds weird, right? You’re used to hearing the fourth of July. No one ever gets excited about the day after…well, no one other than us. The fifth of July is a special day around here because it’s the day J-D and I met. Cheesy, I know, but that’s who we are. The super cheese of cheesy people. Big smile over here on this side of the computer. Actually, he just wished me a Happy Day We Met Day!